SeeD
by TheBlackRaveness
Summary: What life was like for poor 'ol Squall. My plan has fallen into play and none of you can stop me! HAHAHAHAAAAAAAA


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, even though I would love to own Squall and all the other cuties! ::Drool:: Mild swearing, and inspired from other fics I have read. Constructive Criticism is welcomed as long as it is not "You Suck" Enjoy

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Chaotic Day in the Life of SeeD

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[Balamb Garden]

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Rinoa: Squall! Don't you just love my new outfit? ***Rinoa twirls in her see-through black lace mini skirt and tank top (SORRY RINOA FANS! I LOVE HER TOO! THIS IS JUST A STORY!)***

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Squall gave one of those impressive whatevers. br

Rinoa: SQUALL JUST LOOK AT ME!br

Squall kicked off of the plaster wall in his dorm room, and glanced at Rinoabr

Squall: …WHATEVER!br

Rinoa: If you love me you would talk to mebr

Squall: Beautiful ***rolls his eyes* **what else do you want me to say?br

Rinoa lavishes in the false compliment: How much you would live in misery and angst without mebr

Squall: I would rather die ***then sticks his finger in his throat and walks over to his bed to sit down*** then live another ***he smacks his chest*** moment of my eternal damnation without your radiant beauty to love a pathetic man like me.br

Rinoa: OH! Squall I love you too! ***She giggles happily as she checks herself out in the mirror***br

Squall: …whatever ***Thinks: What an egotistical bitch, the Rinoa I fell in-love with in Final Fantasy 8 was modest and…Damnit! It's not real, it's not real!*** [Leaves]br

Rinoa: Oh Squally-poo do you think I look better naked? ***She spoke not realizing he left then continued*** Oh I think I looked better naked too! I love you Squall, you always say the right things.br

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[Cafeteria with Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, Zell, and the Seifer Posse]

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[Enters Squall]br

Zell: No Sephie baby, I think you have a much better body than Jennifer Lopez! (Note: I LOVE J-LO THIS IS JUST A STORY!) ***Zell glances at a pinup of J-lo in a comic lust***br

Selphie: ZELL! ***Pouts that famous pout well not really*** I thought you loved…Oh hey Squall why so down?br

Squall takes a seat next to Fujin: Rinoa is caught up in her ego again, Damn Squaresoft (I LOVE YOU SQUARESOFT I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!…But I love Squall more!…I STILL LOVE YOU!) Made Rinoa "realize" her "Inner" beauty UGH!br

Everyone: We always thought she was so nice, but even Happy (a.k.a. Angelo) doesn't even want to be near her.br

Happy a.k.a. Angelo: WOOF BARK BARK ***Snarl*** [Translation: She tried to hump me, that disgusting pervert. I'm only her dog in the game! Now she thinks I'm her love, what the hell? I think her famous-ness got to that peanut of a brain of hers. God, what I wouldn't give to be a stuffed animal right now. I mean honestly, it's just wrong coming onto a dog…unless you're a dog. Well even my bitch agrees with me!]br

Happy's Bitch: Bark BARK Woof woof arf barkie woof arf woo woo wooof howl woof bark bark bark arf arf arf wobarf! ***drool, nodd*** [Translation: Yup]br

Irvine: Where did you come from?!!br

Author: I made the Bitch poof in, got a problem with that?br

Irvine: Who the hell are you?br

Author: The evil force tampering with your life! HAHAH!br

Quistis: Who is Irvine talking to?br

Rajin: His voices, ya know?br

Fujin: NEGATIVE! ***kicks Rajin in the shin*** Look the creator's of Squaresoft got me into my character! I hate this, Blow this $hit, lets go !@$% Rajin.br

Rajin: I know me too, ya…ARGH! ***Throws Fujin over his shoulder and leaves the café*** br

Seifer: Hey Quisty, sweetie, baby poo, honey pie, maggot bear?br

Quistis: What Snot-Filled shoe, Seify, horse poopy wench?br

Everyone but Quistis and Seifer: O .. o;;;br

Seifer: Maybe you and I can go do some training?br

Quistis: I'm not in the mood ***before Seifer can object Quistis casts silence, Siren's Animation is shown***br

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[Water floods the café and everything fades out but Siren on a rock, and her wings are about to open…]br

Siren: @#$% this! ***waves her hand and silence is cast upon Seifer and just walks out of the room***br

Squall: What the hell? ***Looks down at his leather boots being ruined by the water***br

Selphie sits on Zell's lap to avoid the waterbr

Quistis: Is it me or has our GF's gotten lazy?br

Author: THEY AREN'T YOUR GF'S ANY MORE IT WAS ALL A GAME! THE ACTORS/ACTRESSES/MONSTERS/CUTIE THINGS/ POINTY THINGS HAVE FEELINGS YA KNOW!br

Quistis suddenly bashes her head into the table and dies, she fades from the room.br

Seifer: MAGGOT BEAR!br

Zell: #$%@!br

Selphie: !&%#br

Squall: !#%&ing !$%& was @#$^ @#$^&#$ #%@!!$%br

Happy: #!$%!#^&%^&$#@^$ ya #$%$&^@!@^@%^ huh #@%$^&%^&@$^! My $@#%$#^^ !%$#@!% &&$!!%^ $#^#%#$ ?!!!!!br

Happy's Bitch: ?!br

[Rinoa Enters]br

Rinoa: @#$%^@#$%#%^%@&!% %#^@^$^ $^^%*&#&(*^ !%!$#%!#% ^$@^^ #%^@!!@$#% #^%^$& @#$%!$%^% $^%%% $^% @$!!@$&%*!! #$%#%&^&$!!%$#% ! $^@!$#%#!%#& @$#! *&^&^&%^$%^#$%@%$(^&^@#$%%^( %$#^@%#@ ^^%* ^$^@ *$^%$%^$^%&&%&%%%^%&%^ #$@$#!@$!#@(&^%^$^%$^%##!!^*&&*~&*^*( ^%&$^#$%#%@!$#%^^$***%^$$#@ @%^%&*^%^ *%^% &^%^%* %^%&% ^%*&^* %^^^%^%^! MY HAIR! [leaves]br

Seifer: Squall are you gonna ditch whore girl?br

Squall: …Yeah, you can have her back again. I beginning to think I was pussy whipped. Ugh. RINOA WE'RE THROUGHbr

Rinoa yells from the infirmary: SCREW YOU!br

Squall: SORRY I DON'T LIKE THE TAINTED!br

Seifer runs towards the infimary: Thanks Squall, I appreciate it. RIIIINOOOOOOAAAAAA I'M COMINNNNNNG BAAAAABBBBBBYYYYYYY POOOOO!br

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[Later that day Back in Squall's Dorm]br

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Author: Excellent it's all falling into playbr

Squall looks around in shock: What the hellbr

Author: …..br

[Enters Rinoa]br

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Rinoa: Look at these nice pants! ***Holds up mutilated MC Hammer pants with plaid and pokka-dots and every thing that makes a person go mad*** I love them!br

Squall: WHAT THE @#$@ what the @#$@ is your #$%#ing problem! ***Casts Fira***br

Rinoa looks up dejectedly: NOOOOO….wait the pants are okay! Hahah you pansy!br

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[Fades into a Nifty Battle Thingy]

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Squall: DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE….br

Rinoa stops to fix her make-upbr

Squall casts firaga on her make-up kit, and Rinoa dies.br

Rinoa as she's fading: Nooo I didn't finish my mascara, I'll get you Leonhart!br

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[End Battle: You've gained 0 exp and 2,000,000,000,000,000 Gil.]br

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Squall: That's where all my money I gave her for potions went.br

[Seifer Enters]br

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Seifer: Hey Squall…OH COOL PANTS! They yours?…Anyways have you seen Rinoa?br

Squall: No…Haven't seen her all day…br

Seifer: Oh…damn…we were…nevermind I think I might be pregnantbr

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[Fades into a Nifty Battle Thingy again, Seifer is confused as hell]br

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Seifer: What the…br

Squall: #@$#$!!! ***Stabs Seifer***br

Seifer: MY baaaaabyyyyyy ***dies***br

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[End Battle: Your Party as Gained .00005 Exp and 0 Gil]br

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[Enters Irvine]br

Squall: What the @#$! This is the last dorm in the wing, how the @#$@ are people just wandering in here?

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[Fades into the Nifty Battle Thingy]

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Squall: $#@!%!!!@$%!#$^ ^%&@^@%^#% IRVINE @#$#!%^^%#!%br

Irvine: Huh?br

Squall stabs Irvine, and he diesbr

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[Battle Ends: Your Party has Gained 20 Exp and a Plastic Tube painted black.]

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[Selphie and Zell Enters]br

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Selphie: Dude, Squall what you're doing is hazardous to your health!br

Zell: Yeah, man, you shouldn't be killing people. Boo-YA! ***Zell punches the air***br

Squall: WHAT THE $#@@! Is wrong with you people?!br

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[Fades into yet again another boooooring battle]

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Selphie and Zell look around the room in confusion, their ATB's going, and their Battle Menu pop upbr

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They look at eachother: Huh?br

Author: MWAHAHAA it's all falling into play!br

Everyone: What the !@$#!@#br

Author steps on Zell and Selphiebr

Squall: #@$#!br

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[Battle Ends: Your Party has Gained 60 Exp and a box of Trojan Condoms]

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Squall: @$%!br

Squall's dorm door slams shut and locks, deadbolts he's never even seen before shows up and he's trapped in his room.br

Squall: @$#!br

A bright light shines down from no where, a feminine figure appearing, Squall shield's his eyes from the Author's Radiant light.br

Author: Squaaaallllll…Squaalllllll…I've been waiting for you Squall.br

Squall: Who the hell are you? Hey… I can swear! SHIT DAMN FUCK BITCH HELL ASS…w00t! ^ .. ^br

Author jumps on Squall and tries to kiss him: I LOVE YOU SQUALLY BABY!br

Squall: @#$@!…oh yeah…what the FUCK!? ***pulls out gunblade from no where and stabs the author***br

Author Dies: X .. Xbr

Squall leaves his room confused as hell as to what just happened.br


End file.
